7 Things That Are Happening in This New Normal
Limpeh’s eyewitness account of the first weekend of Phase 2.

Who was so excited about Phase 2 happening that at 0000hrs on June 19, you all already went further than your neighbourhood supermarket?

Don’t shy. Just raise your hands and shake it like it’s pre-COVID-19 times!!!!

Over the weekend, I met my bros to lim kopi. Too bad we had to cut one fella, well, cos you know, only five people are allowed at one social gathering. But it’s ok, i didn’t like him very much also, so thanks to this rule, i can finally cut him out.

When we were out, I noticed there were some ‘interesting’ things that kept happening. Limpeh analysed what happened because of the CB. Here are my thoughts:

1. Gatherings with friends were awkward, because all our social skills now haywire.

2. Some people definitely got too excited about food delivery in the last few months. But your friends won’t be able to tell how much you ordered, because heng ah, got mask to cover double chin. lf you’re thinking of getting back in shape, limpeh got you covered. See here and pick an exercise to do every day!

3. When people met their friends finally, they only wave at each other one time…cos they didn’t want second wave. Remember ah, 1 metre away.

4. A few conversations started with “Harlow, can you hear me?” Then when they started talking to friends, got 0.8s lag in their response. We confirm conditioned by video call latency.

5. Many people finally realised that the drinks stall aunties has been lying since pre-COVID times. They still call you shuai ge or mei nu when they can only see your eyes!

6. At the coffeeshop, people kept saying GE, GE, GE, GE. I thought they singing that Girls Generation song…but my friend say it’s about the General Elections, which might happen in a few weeks. He just guess guess only la. #POFMAdon’tcatch.

7. We can finally can say “dabao” / “takeaway” without feeling stupid.

Did you also see the same things I did? Macam our new normal ah.

Now that we can go out, let’s maintain ah. Stand 1m apart, wash your hands with soap for more than 20 secs and last warning ah, DON’T TOUCH YOUR FACE.